This is our adoption journey from start through homecoming to current (or hopefully somewhat current) for our daughter Alyssa. We had a lot of bumps, confusion and sometimes tears along the way but we would do it 100x over again knowing Alyssa was waiting for us. Please do not use this as your guide for adoption but as an example of how the process worked in once case. Each adoption experience is completely unique.
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Alyssa is a happy and smart 3 1/2 year old. Her speech has caught up and we love having great long conversations. She asks such interesting questions I know she is absorbing everything she hears and sees. She is a delight who loves My Little Ponies, Counting, singing, dancing and spinning in circles. She is really tall at 3 foot 4 inches and weights 35 pounds. She is very girly and insists on wearing tutu’s to bed at night. She loves books and the adoption stories of A mother for Choco and Moon baby. We talk adoption every day, she knows she has a birth mommy that loves her and has asked a couple of the hard questions. I don’t think she necessarily understands it yet as she is so young, but we feel we are on the right path for her to understand we are a family and her forever Mommy and Daddy.
Alyssa is doing very well. Her speech has exploded in the last month. We were slightly concerned as she was just slightly delayed before but not really anymore. She isn’t perfectly clear yet and some words sound very much alike, but I have no worries about her speech. It is amazing to be able to have an actual two-way conversation with her now.
I’ve been wanting to talk to her about so much but finally she is just starting to be able to ask questions… Very simple questions but awesome all the same. We talk often about her belly button and how that’s where she was connected to her Birth Mommy. It’s very cute. So the conversations about life and how she got here begin.
One day two weeks ago she decided she was going to use the potty every day. “Mommy, I got to go Pee Pee” (or Poo Poo) she told me about 10 times that first day. Except for sleeping she has been NEAR accident free the last two weeks. She is very excited, as are we.
She has a “Princess Potty” that plays music when she uses it. She also gets stickers and she has been given a few larger My Little Pony prizes too. She was scared of anything but her potty chairs the first week, but is now happy to use an adult toilet also (with help of course). She also got to call family to announce she went Pee Pee/Poo Poo every time for the first week. It was probably the prize she was most exited about.
A year ago today… we had a rollercoaster of emotions. I had hoped and dreamed our daughter would come to love and accept us as her family. I was never afraid I wouldn’t bond with her; I knew that would be easy for me. I hoped she would be happy, healthy and hoped for a bright future for our little girl before I ever held her.
A year ago today… we met our daughter for the first time. She had the same huge dark beautiful brave eyes we had been staring at for months in her referral photo. She let us hold her and paid us little attention at first, but then she realized something changed.
A year ago today… she looked at us and wondered who we were. She was hesitant but brave and didn’t shed a tear as we hugged, kissed and played with her.
A year ago today… she kicked a yellow little plastic ducky on wheels across the floor in the orphanage as we held her hands and we all laughed together for the first time.
A year ago today… her new Daddy kissed her head as she slept in his lap and snored like a little purring kitten as we left the orphanage. She started bonding with her new Mommy and didn’t want to be set down.
Today… She woke up with a big stretch and pulled her blanket over her head in protest. She snuggled up and hugged me in a coma type sleep as I got her out of bed. She smiled and giggled as she awoke blinking and stretching.
Today… she ran up and gave me a big hug after her Daddy got her dressed for daycare. She squealed and pointed to the kitty as we walked in the bathroom to finish getting her ready.
Today… we played Salon, as we do every day when I do her hair, and she smiled and sang incoherent little tunes she made up in her head. She helped brush her teeth and gave me a big hug then yelled DADDY to let him know she was ready to go downstairs.
Today… she smiled, giggled and we were amazed at how lucky a mom and dad we are. She gave me a quick kiss and hug as she ate cheerios while watching Handy Manny.
Tonight we are celebrating our 1st gotcha day anniverary with Spaghetti and cake and probably lots of legos and books. Perfect Family Evening. What a great year it’s been! 
The last few months have been very bumpy in the Tucker Household. Alyssa is doing great and her speech is growing at light speed. She sleeps in her crib by her self all night and easily goes to sleep at night now which is a delight! She is 21 months old and really interested in Dancing and books. She loves to sit in her toddler rocking chair and look at books.
My father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer a in September so we have been spending as much time with him as possible and having Alyssa play with him as much as possible. We have been really busy and are doing what we can to make the most of the time we have together.
We had a huge scare on November 30th. Know before I say it that everyone is okay. It was an icy day and Alyssa and Jason were in a massive car accidently. Black ice, fishtailing, flying into oncoming traffic and a 180% spin then they got re-ended by a large jeep. It was a miracle that the car spun just right so they didn’t get hurt. The trunk was completely demolished and the impact stopped just a few inches from Alyssa’s car seat. The back seat got pushed a bit and of course the back window imploded, but amazingly everyone was okay. The police and EMT’s all commented several times on how her car seat did it’s job and how it kept her safe because it was extremely tightly secured. I was about a mile away and got there before the police. I wanted to be that woman you see in the movies that runs up screaming… “My BABY! MY BABY!” but I took a few deep breaths and did my best to stay clam. Alyssa was sitting on Jason’s lap with her big eyes looking a little started and Jason had about the same look on his face. Jason’s seat was broken a little farther back and sideways. Jason had immediately pulled her out of her car seat (probably not the best idea after an accident – but a parents reaction to save their child from danger) right after the crash as she was sitting in a pile of glass from the back window.
We requested the EMT look Alyssa over even though 5 minutes after the accident she was smiling and fine and didn’t have a scratch on her. They said she was fine. Jason had a bit of whip-lash and has been going to the chiropractor a couple of times a week for his back.
The car was a total loss. It was his beloved 2000 Honda Accord that was fully loaded. We bought another Graco - My Ride 65 (I’m giving exact info as it saved my baby). I wrote them a thank you letter but still want to write one to our local police station that helped teach us to install the car seat.
Alyssa’s first Christmas went well. Santa brought her a play kitchen (which is her new favorite toy), a leaptop (baby laptop), Dora doll, lots of little people toys and a bunch of books. Alyssa wasn’t interested in opening any other presents once she was the toy kitchen. It took us 2 hours to convince her to open any others. She also got a digital camera from Grandpa, food for her kitchen from Aunty Heather, and a beautiful table and chair set from Grandma. Plus many other wonderful gifts! She was a very happy little girl. Until Christmas dinner when she got the flu and lets just say “decorated” my aunt’s and uncles house several times! Ahh, First Christmas Memories!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday and has excellent 2011. I wish everyone tons of new family bonding, new referrals and gotcha days!
Best Wishes and Happy New YEAR!
