A complete circle… ***PERU*** September 23, 2008

Most people keep quiet about their struggles finding the right place to adopt from.  I feel that it is important for people to realize what a difficult choice it is and that we aren’t just spinning a globe and pointing to a country to choose where to adopt from. 

With countries guidelines constantly changing it’s hard to stay on top of everything and make sure you have made the right choices.   I want to say we are 100% certain that we are adopting from Peru and this choice will not change, but I have thought this before and at times things change whether we want them to or not.   So, until Peru accepts our Dossier (which will be at least 6 months out) we won’t know for sure if our child(ren) will come from Peru.   I truly hope they do.

We have loved the idea of adopting from Peru since before our informational meeting 4/1/08.  Granted that was only 5.5 months ago, but it feels like so much longer.

The children of Peru are well cared for and beautiful. The country is gorgeous, culture and people of Peru are wonderful.  The adoption process there has changed a lot and slowed down, but Peru feels like a right choice.   Currently we are going to request siblings or a single child 8 years old or younger.   It appears that the process will take us 2-4 years to complete.  It is a long time, but it will be worth the wait.

We are working on moving our adoption application back over the the general adoption area of CHSFS, and we should be retaking adoption classes 10/16-10/17.  These classes are for international adoption and talk about adopting children of different races/cultures and getting your child(ren) through the INS and customs.  

Once the classes are completed we will formally start our home study.  This is where they will meet with us several times and visit our home.  A social worker will write a biography of our lives and how a child(ren) would fit with us.  The home study should take 30-60 days to complete – hopefully it will be completely by the end of the year. 

Then we will start preparing our Dossier for Peru.   A dossier is normally two 3-ring binders full of every bit of information you can imagine about us that we have to send to Peru.  Once Peru receives our Dossier they review and approve it.  Normally, it takes Peru six months to approve a Dossier.  Once it is approved we start officially waiting for our referral.  (Referral = picture/video of potential child Peru has matched us with, this info includes medical info, name, sex, age of child(ren).

Currently the waiting time in Peru is 18-24 months after the Dossier is approved.

Once we receive and accept the referral we travel to Peru 1-2 weeks later.

Then we will live in Peru for about 30 days while we meet, bond with, adopt, and get our new child(ren) passports/visas to leave the country.  

Once that is completed – then we can come home… adopt the child in the U.S.

Then… We will be one big happy family.. Easy right?    But totally worth it.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another possible option ***Ukraine*** September 17, 2008

We are trying to research all our possiblies.  Currently, I am researching adoption from Ukraine.  It is a blind referral process. Meaning you travel to Ukraine – then they give you a potential child and you travel accross country to meet the child before you accept the referral – so we would have no information on the child(ren) we would adopt prior to adopting them.  Several couples have reported going through a few referrals before accepting one.

The cost of Ukrainian adoption is very hard to calculate.  I found a blog about independent adoption in Ukraine from 2000 where a couple did it on their own for $12K, then have seen other blogs claiming it would be about $20K, then have seen adoption websites claiming total cost in Ukraine is $30K.  This is still well below the $45K estimate we get for adopting from Russia.   While the cost of adoption isn’t our only determining factor it is important when we are talking about saving $15K.

If we adoped siblings from Ukraine it only is an additional $2K plus the childs airfare home, still way less than Russia’s cost for one child.

So far, from my research, I have found that Ukraine doesn’t let agencies and adoption attorneys handle adoptions in their country.  This is very different then other countries.  If we go through CHSFS the cost would be higher than attempting to adopt from Ukraine on our own but we would have the expertise of an adoption agency helping us along the way.  Ukraine is a pilot program, so many factors of the adoption we would find out along the way.  CHSFS has completed 4 adoptions in Ukraine in the last two years.  The last one just completed in the past few months.

If we decide to go with Ukraine we would most likely start back up the process now.  We would have to go to adoption classes again for international adoption.  A full 2 day classroom event (10/1 – 10/17). 

We are still talking and doing more research.    The idea of traveling blindly is not very comforting, but we are considering the option.

When you close a door… time to break open a window… September 8, 2008

 

Have you ever had the feeling that you are one of those tiny ping pong balls that won’t quit flying and bouncing back and forth?  If you have, you know how we feel.

 

After many long nights of discussion and numerous phone conversations with social workers of the MN waiting child program, we have decided that this program is not a good match for us.

Initially, we were under the impression that not all the children in this program had severe needs, but we have come to find out that we should expect that 100% of the children have what we would consider severe special needs.  

We consider a severe special the following: expecting a child to get in trouble with the law and expecting them to never live independantly.   (If that didn’t happen with children we may have adopted through this program we would be considered lucky).

By no means do we mean to shed a negative light on these children, the families that adopt them, or the wonderful people that help them along the way… But at this point in our lives, that is not how we picture our family.  We feel horriable but feel that path isn’t right for us.

 

We are talking about going back to international adoption.  We are looking into Russia.  We thought Peru was expensive at $20K, well Russia may be over twice that at $45K.   We initially didn’t look into Russian Adoption since the price is so high.  Looking at it now, it sounds like a good fit. 

If we adopt from Russia we will request a boy or girl.. or siblings.   1-3 years old for one child or 1-4 for siblings.  Siblings in Russia are only $5K more plus airfare for the children.. So could be $8K more total. If we can figure out $45K, we are thinking we may be able to find another $8K to adopt two children. 

Since we are not financially set up for Russia, we most likely will be taking a year off to try to save another chuck of change and bills to put towards this huge but wonderful expense.

We hate to hold off and have to start all over (loosing 5 months of work) but don’t have any idea how we could tackle that huge expense right now.  So, hopefully over the next year we can save and raise an additional $10-15K.. Yup thousand to help with these expenses. 

Since Jason is part Russian he is more excited about this choice then I have seen him on any of the programs we have discussed. 

Hopefully, by the end of 2009 we will be starting our application again for the International Russian Adoption Program.  

Jason is going to keep his 2nd job, which will give us about $6,000 a year, and I am starting to work craft shows, which I hope will bring an income rather than a debt.  Still working out all the details, but I am signed up for three shows in November.  Under the name of Tucker Creations, I know dumb name, I just wasn’t prepared to give a name for our company when I called for a Tax ID number.  Had no clue getting one would be so easy!!!